Syeeta? WTF?

That is me. I'm not too proud of what i have become. i mean i used to be cute. not a boyish looking girl. i used to actually be happy. what the hell do you call this? my therapist thinks i've just gone down a spiral. i dont know what to call it to tell you the honest truth, i kinda wish i knew what was actually going on here, but yet i got no clue. is it wrong to even consider that maybe, my life is over at seventeen? no i shouldnt be that dramatic, i mean for christ sake. IM ONLY SEVENTEEN. look at how many years i got ahead of me... >.< can someone help me. i think i fucked up somewhere, yet i don't know where. today i had the biggest FMYLIFE disaster, i dont even know where to begin. this whole entire week has been BLAH! like what the fuck? that's for another post. this one is just about me. theres really nothing to mention more about how much of a DEAD BEAT LOSER I AM. my big brother mentioned how I'm a lying conniving little bitch. yes i lie. what else do you want from me. i'm a goddamn teenager not the fucking pope. dont expect me to be blessed and be a little angel because i am not even a step close to even having a halo above this head/

Today Was So So

This is what today looked like, a beautiful day to go to the beach, actually everyone was going to the beach, the weather was beautiful and there was no cloud in the sky to even indicate that there was going to be a drop of rain. Instead today I decide to stay home and walk a million miles to no where. As I took each step walking closer and closer to nowhere I yelled to myself why I was doing nothing when I could actually be doing something. The only decent thing that I had done on this beautiful beach day was get a new cell phone that was a touch screen. "Yay Me!". the fact that I'm crying deep inside because people are bragging how the day at the beach was "Beautiful" or it was "interesting" or that "someone got ran over by the police buggy that drives around on the beach.". Another Day, Another Flippin Mistake. Ugh FMyLife.!