My Definition Of Love

Love: you give up all wrongs for their rights; a feeling that is better than any high from any drug; a connection between two people that is so powerful that not even god could cut through it; you'd give up the world for them.

I cant explain love, its something that you cant explain. that is what love is, a feeling so powerful not even Shakespeare can explain.

S.O.S

she stares blankly into the mirror, brushing her hair away from her face, a single tear that streams gently down her cheeks. her hair is a mess, she just woke up, every morning its the same ritual,nothing has changed...what's the point? a replay of her past vividly plays in her mind like a broken record. STOP THE REPEATS!. its like she wishes to erase the past, why cant she? people judge from her past. she has changed, why cant anyone see that, people can change. she has changed for the better. she claims that shes being over dramatic, but is that it? maybe she screams for someone to help her? these sublimal messages arent getting across to anyone, shes busy helping other people. shes busy with their problems, they dont have time to listen to her concerns,to her thoughts. lately her past has been haunting her like a poltergeist, obtaining her every move, laughing in her face. will she ever prevail?

Change Of Heart

The man began to heave his last bag as he boarded the train to the end of his old life. a single tear steamed his face, all he needed was a single glance to see that what he was doing wasnt a mistake, but a new step into a new life. he was leaving behind a family that disowned him years back and a woman who despised every part of his living being. his presence angered many, annoyed few. what was wrong with him? was the question. he didnt know whether to change his name and his whole identity or just continue as the man that many people hated.he thirsted for attention, he thirsted for people to look up to him. who was this man to become? he was nothing but a nice man to everyone he came across yet they still saw something in him. WAS IT FEAR? he decided to give up on his dream of becoming this "NEW MAN"
"why should i change because people ask me to?" he asked himself.
he wanted to be a leader, not a follower, he wanted to direct. if he couldnt get them to like him, he was to have them fear him. he would show them the man he has become, he tried to be nice, he tried to be civil, they pushed this man to the edge. he was going to blow, sudden emotions overtook him.it was unbearable this feeling of adrenaline made him feel superior. he was about to step foward. he was ready. but what the people were about to See would change history forever.

Which Way Did They Go? Which Way Did They Go?

This is what i had to deal with on April 7th,2010. There had to be 4 cop cars and police helicopter circle my house, just because of some ignorant chick that i hang out with. or atleast used to. heres how it started. this girl Toni decides that it would be funny to ask a 6 year old if he wants cocaine. ha ha so funny, the kid runs to the mother. at this point im inside the house, dont know what the hell is left or rght. i go outside and toni is laughing her ass off. i look at her and ask. "whats gong on" "i just asked a six year old if he wanted cocaine" at that point my heart drops to my stomach and i was going to blow her face to fucking iraq.
Me: "why the fuck did you say that? his mother is going to call the cops now"
Toni: "I Don't Care"
Me: "I Do!, this is my neighborhood"
Toni: "Like I Just Said. I Don't Care"
Me:"TONI THIS IS MY FUCKING NEIGBORHOOD! YOU RESPECT IT AND THE PEOPLE IN IT"
Toni: "Syeeta,*shakes head and talks slower* I DO NOT CARE. WOW THE COPS WILL SHOW UP BIG FUCKING WHOOP"
at this point the childs mother walks up my drive way and all i can hear is the pounding of heart jolting in my chest.
Mother:*looks at toni* "DID YOU OFFER MY KID COCAINE?"
Toni:*playing with hair* "AND?"
Mother:*looks dumbfounded at toni* "What Do You Mean AND?, my child is only six"
Toni: "SO! I was doing drugs when i was six, it's good that he knows now"
Syeeta: *looks at toni with a WTF is wrong with you glance* TONI! SHUT UP.*looks at mother* im sorry ma'am shes visiting the neighborhood shes a friend, she doesnt know whats shes talking about, shes a retard.
Mother: I Dont Understand.
Toni:*underbreath* dumb ass
Mother*insulted* excuse me?
Syeeta: Ma'am excuse her, she doesnt know her manners.


FAST FOWARD

*First Police Cruiser Pulls Up, then another, then another, then another*

talk to the cops, they leave, then a helicopter flies over lands and arrest toni and the other people who were with her.

5 minutes later

i am caught with a cell phone i wasnt supposed to have and i was caught smoking a ciggarette at the same time.

RESULT:
Grounded 3 more months.

Thanks Toni. I Like The Things You Do! HEY TONI IF I COULD I WOULD BE YOU!

*Complete Sarcasm*

FMYLIFE

FULL STORY WILL BE POSTED LATER!

Syeeta? WTF?

That is me. I'm not too proud of what i have become. i mean i used to be cute. not a boyish looking girl. i used to actually be happy. what the hell do you call this? my therapist thinks i've just gone down a spiral. i dont know what to call it to tell you the honest truth, i kinda wish i knew what was actually going on here, but yet i got no clue. is it wrong to even consider that maybe, my life is over at seventeen? no i shouldnt be that dramatic, i mean for christ sake. IM ONLY SEVENTEEN. look at how many years i got ahead of me... >.< can someone help me. i think i fucked up somewhere, yet i don't know where. today i had the biggest FMYLIFE disaster, i dont even know where to begin. this whole entire week has been BLAH! like what the fuck? that's for another post. this one is just about me. theres really nothing to mention more about how much of a DEAD BEAT LOSER I AM. my big brother mentioned how I'm a lying conniving little bitch. yes i lie. what else do you want from me. i'm a goddamn teenager not the fucking pope. dont expect me to be blessed and be a little angel because i am not even a step close to even having a halo above this head/

What Is Love?

Love; A four letter word with just one syllabol but with so much great meaning to it. Why must it seem like everyday for me its like a crazy train wreck just waiting to happen. Wake up, go to sleep and then this love problem repeats itself. Someday's i wish i could be like those people from the disney channel movies. Man life would be sweet; Like Apple pie or grandma cookies. Honestly cant remember the last time i had a well functioning relationship with someone else. I guess love wasnt meant for all of us. I could honestly say that if I could go back in time and be with that one person that i was with for two years. i would relive it until the world would explode in 2012. I miss the days, things just havent been the same since then, The few things in life that have ever made me happy is now gone. :// . Just goes to show you that you cant take anything in life for granted, i had to learn that the hard way. but don't get me wrong, love is not out of the picture for me just yet. Its just things were so right back then, now its like riding a roller coaster. my realationship is constantly riding up and down and around in loops. Its like i shall forever be Karma's bitch. i'm just hoping things will settle down in my realationship and it can be like the past where i was happy and without regrets. Now it seems like with everyday i live this the same mistake from the past that fucked me over and made who i am today. but i know that it will settle down. when? i dont know exactly but i will continue to hold my breath until its the time to breathe

Today Was So So

This is what today looked like, a beautiful day to go to the beach, actually everyone was going to the beach, the weather was beautiful and there was no cloud in the sky to even indicate that there was going to be a drop of rain. Instead today I decide to stay home and walk a million miles to no where. As I took each step walking closer and closer to nowhere I yelled to myself why I was doing nothing when I could actually be doing something. The only decent thing that I had done on this beautiful beach day was get a new cell phone that was a touch screen. "Yay Me!". the fact that I'm crying deep inside because people are bragging how the day at the beach was "Beautiful" or it was "interesting" or that "someone got ran over by the police buggy that drives around on the beach.". Another Day, Another Flippin Mistake. Ugh FMyLife.!